did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
