I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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