Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
