look no pants
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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