Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
