i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
