ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
