You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
