Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm sobbing to NWA
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
