i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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