I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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