Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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