I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
