All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
