She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
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I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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