Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize