I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
