Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
