Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think people are normalizing furries
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
