And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
