my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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