Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
