I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
