Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
