I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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