the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
