Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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