Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize