why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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