ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
