If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
