i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
