How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I have demons in me.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize