My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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