just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize