Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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