Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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