i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
