i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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