is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I understand Curling. That high.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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