The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?