I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
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Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on