dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night