I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him