Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
