i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
