oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize