i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
