I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
