the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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