All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
