Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
