I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Every concussion has its silver lining
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize