I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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