I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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