the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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