Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wish my penis had a tongue
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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