yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
