i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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