let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
