Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
