one might say we're banned from that church
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
