im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
