This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
