I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
MIDGETS
????
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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