Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
