so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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