Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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