I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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